To Build a Home
by karevsprincess
Summary: After her split from Alex, Jo receives a piece of news that is game-changing for them both. Now standing at a crossroads, she has to make a major life decision. If she ever wants to move on, she'll have to face the demons of her past and summon strength she didn't know she had. That is, if there is even any hope for her and Alex at all. / Two-shot, post 12x24.
1. part i

**A/N** : So, this is a random idea I was toying around with in my head for a while. Then when I mentioned it on Tumblr, people seemed to be interested in it so I decided, why not? Originally I intended for it to be a multi-chapter story, but I have a short attention span and I've found I can only finish multi-chapter stories after months of planning and writing the entire thing before I start posting it. So instead I wrote this as a one-shot, but it ended up being so long (9,000+ words!) that I split it in half. Thus, this two-shot was born. It was a little hard because what we know about Jo's past is so limited, but I did my best to make it work. I hope you guys enjoy this story, because I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it to be completely honest. Granted, sometimes the stories I don't like end up being the ones I get the best responses on - funny how that works. Anyways, enjoy and remember that reviews make me feel unbelievably happy!

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own _Grey's Anatomy_.

* * *

 _And I built a home  
for you  
for me_

 _Until it disappeared  
from me  
from you_

* * *

 **i.**

She ignores the signs for two months.

The fatigue comes first, but that can easily be explained – ever since Alex broke up with her, she's practically been living at the hospital, because well it isn't like she has anywhere else to go anyway. Working all the time would make anyone tired. The nausea is next, and she convinces herself it's just her diet of coffee and vending machine snacks coming back to haunt her. She tells herself she's just missing Alex, and that's what's taking a physical toll on her body – so when she's suddenly running to the bathroom more often than usual and the smell of antiseptic is enough to make her stomach churn and her breasts hurt when her scrub top brushes against them, she just bites her tongue and ignores it.

"Dr. Wilson? Dr. Wilson!"

On this cold, rainy Monday morning, Jo is awoken to the sound of her name being repeated. She bolts upright, gasping for breath as she comes back to reality and gets her bearings. DeLuca is standing next to the bed in the on-call room where she'd passed out last night, his hands clasped in front of him as he waits. "What is it, Dr. DeLuca?" She snaps – moodiness, that's something new too, but it's just another thing she's blamed on Alex dumping her.

Andrew maintains a neutral expression as he speaks to her – the truth is, he's been ignoring her for the past two months, since Alex caught the two of them together and pummeled his face in. He'd had a black eye for three weeks afterward, so she couldn't exactly blame him – all he'd done was help her and he'd gotten hurt. She'd probably avoid her too. "I'm on your service today. There's a trauma in The Pit we should probably get to…" He trails off, noticing the strange look on her face. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to be sick."

"I'm fi –" Jo starts to say, but before she can even finish her statement she feels her stomach clench. A hand flying over her mouth, she's up immediately and shoving DeLuca out of the way in her haste to make it to the bathroom. She hunches over a toilet just as she begins puking. Great, just...freaking fantastic.

After several moments Jo presses her forehead against the porcelain, her mouth tasting like bile. As she kneels there catching her breath, she hears footsteps approaching her from behind. "Dr. Wilson –"

She looks up and scowls at him. "Dr. DeLuca, I told you I'm fine! This is the women's bathroom, and you need to leave!"

But the young man doesn't move, crossing his arms over his chest. "With all due respect Dr. Wilson, you're clearly not fine. And you're in no position to treat patients when you're sick."

She can't resist rolling her eyes. "You know the last time you got in my business, you ended up with a bruised face." It's harsh, but she just wants him to leave her alone, so she can keep living in the bubble of ignorance his presence is threatening to pop.

Only DeLuca isn't deterred so easily. He hesitates for a moment, clearly unsure if he really wants to ask what he's about to ask, but then proceeds. "Look, you and Dr. Karev broke up two months ago. Is there any chance you might be…that you might be pregnant?"

Jo looks away, her cheeks suddenly feeling hot. "No."

"Have you missed any periods?"

 _Three_ , She thinks, even though she doesn't want to admit to herself what that must mean. She'd tried to ignore it when she'd missed the first one shortly after she and Alex split, blaming it on the stress. Four weeks later she'd missed another, but she told herself it wasn't anything to worry about. But then yesterday, when she was supposed to get her period and it once again hadn't come…She'd known it wasn't just stress. She'd known what that meant. But she wouldn't let herself believe it.

DeLuca lowers himself onto the bathroom floor next to her. "You need to get a blood test. I can go talk to Robbins, if that's okay with you. She won't tell anyone." She nods – it's not like she has a choice.

She already knows what it will say.

* * *

 **ii.**

An hour later she is waiting in one of the OB rooms, nervously picking at the Band-Aid which covers the spot where DeLuca had extracted her blood, when Arizona returns with the intern close behind. Her expression says it all, and Jo's stomach sinks.

"How far along?"

Arizona bites her lip. "From the level of hCG…I'd say about twelve weeks."

Jo shuts her eyes and she can feel a tear well in one of them. The timeline fits – the last time she and Alex had slept together had been ten weeks ago, not too long before he told her he was done. She chokes out a bitter laugh as she remembers something she'd said to Alex, her last, desperate plea for him to stay with her. _Let's make a baby._ She hadn't known it at the time, but at that moment they already had…

Arizona closes the distance between them, and she's looking at Jo with a pity that she resents. "Is it Alex's?" She asks softly, and Jo doesn't dignify the question with a response. Who else's would it be? Arizona sighs and hesitantly touches Jo's knee. "Look Wilson, I know you've been sleeping here. You'll stay with us for a while, alright? Sofia's in New York with Callie, you can stay in her room." She looks at Jo, waiting for a 'thank you' or any kind of response at all, but her eyes remained trained firmly on the floor.

DeLuca clears his throat – truthfully, she'd forgotten he was there. "You need to tell her."

Arizona looks from one of them to the other, clearly confused. "Tell me what?"

Slowly, Jo exhales. She doesn't want to tell her but…well, she doesn't have much of a choice, does she? "It's a long story."

* * *

 **iii.**

That night Arizona makes her tea, and she tells her the truth – at least, some of it anyway.

There are some parts she decides to leave out, others she can't bear to speak aloud. The memories overwhelm her, choke her, threatening to hold her under and make her drown – there's a reason she never told Alex the story in the first place. And Jo doesn't know if she could bear to have him look at her with the pity Arizona has in her eyes right now.

"Oh Jo," She says, her voice barely above a whisper. "You need to get a divorce."

Jo's head snaps up almost instantly. "I _can't_ ," She says, and she detests how her voice breaks over the words. "I just…I just can't. I can't face him."

"Jo, you're legally married to him, and you're pregnant by someone else! And that someone else also happens to be my friend!" She looks down, feeling ashamed – when she phrases it like that, it makes her sound like some kind of homewrecking whore or something. Arizona sighs. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad. You have every right to be scared…But now it's not just about you. It's about that baby too." Somehow, this makes her feel even worse.

"You're right," She says. "You're right…"

She's spent so long running from her problems.

And it seems like they're finally catching up to her.

* * *

 **iv.**

Her stomach is in knots the next morning as she makes her way through the peds ward, and it's not because of morning sickness.

Her eyes finally land on Alex when she reaches the NICU, his stethoscope gently pressed against the chest of a baby. He smiles and tickles the child's belly, giving him a clean bill of health, and the little boy laughs. She sees his smile widen. What she'd said to him that day hadn't been a lie – he would make a wonderful father.

And now he's going to be one. Soon.

He wraps his stethoscope around his neck and starts to walk off to see his next patient, but then he freezes in his tracks when he catches sight of her. His smile immediately dissipates. Her heart flutters, and she doesn't know if it's because of how nervous she is or the way his eyes lock with hers.

"Hi," She says. "Can we talk?"

Alex is silent for a moment, his hands in his pockets. "I don't know what more there is to say. Unless you're finally going to tell me why you won't marry me."

She shakes her head. "Alex, I…"

She wants to tell him – she does. Alex has always shown her the most vulnerable parts of himself, and she wishes she could do the same, that she could open up her heart to him like he had done to her so many times. But she can't help but fear how he'll react. If he'll be angry. If he'll hate her. If he'll do something stupid. If he'll pity her.

She thinks the last might be the worst of all.

Alex scoffs. "Yeah, I didn't think so." He starts to brush past her but she spins around, grabs his arm.

"Alex, wait. Please."

He pauses, his dark eyes cold. "Just save it, Jo. I've had enough secrets and lies and crap for one lifetime."

She opens her mouth, but no words come out. She had come there to tell him – about the baby. She knows he will have to find out sooner or later, and she wants him to hear it from her. She wants to just say it – _I'm pregnant_ – but all she can manage is a slight croak.

Alex breaks away from her grasp and walks away. She lets him go.

"Wilson!"

She hears Arizona calling her, but doesn't turn around. Finally the fetal surgeon reaches her and grabs her shoulder, spinning her around to face her. "I don't have surgery until three. Do you want to go now?"

Jo gives her a half-hearted shrug. "I don't _want_ to. But I never will."

* * *

 **v.**

Arizona comes with her to see the attorney. A lawyer who specializes in domestic violence, she talks Jo through all the preliminary steps in asking for a divorce. She tells her that they'll send a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, and if they get no response within thirty days, then the divorce will be finalized. Case closed. Arizona smiles at her and tells her that maybe it will be that easy.

But Jo knows it won't be. She knows that this petition is a declaration of war.

About a week later, she comes home to Arizona's after a long day – her patient coded, her lab results took forever, and even though her morning sickness was supposed to be easing up she'd puked at least twenty times. She walks inside and drops her bag dramatically on the floor – all she wants is to take a nap. But when she passes by the living room, she does a double take.

Arizona looks like a deer in headlights, and her panic does not alleviate when she sees Jo. DeLuca is sitting on the couch, keeping his head down and looking like he's worried about getting punched again. And then there's Alex. "What's going on?"

Alex turns to look at her, and she sees a look on his face she's only seen a few times before. He's pissed. There's something in his hand – some piece of paper – and he crumples it in his fist. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

Jo glances at Arizona. "I'm so sorry, Jo…I had to tell him, I didn't have a choice…" Her heart sinks.

This wasn't how he was supposed to find out.

Alex is staring at her, and she can see he's resisting the urge to cry. "I wanted to tell you about the baby, I really did…"

Suddenly, Alex's complete demeanor changes. His jaw slacks and he's giving her a look, as if he can't believe what she just said. "Baby? What baby?"

Jo turns to Arizona, who's covered her face with her hand, and she catches a glimpse of the crumpled up paper Alex's is holding – the title flashes by quickly, but she can read it. _Response to Petition for Dissolution of Marriage._ It suddenly all makes sense to her.

"This came to the loft," He says, shoving it towards her, but she doesn't grab it, and lets the paper fall to the ground by her feet. "I came here looking for you, because I thought it all had to be a mistake. Arizona told me what was really going on. But it seems there was something she conveniently forgot to mention." When Alex meets her eyes, he doesn't look angry, exactly – he looks hurt. Betrayed. "You're pregnant?"

Jo looks down, feeling sick to her stomach. "…Yes."

He lets out a low laugh of disgust. "When were you planning on telling me this?"

She can't look at him as she responds. "I…I don't know."

Alex shakes his head, his vision blurred by tears that are threatening to spill over. "I…I need to get out of here." He says, mostly to himself.

"Karev!" Arizona calls after him, while Jo's knees buckle, and her breathing becomes shallow as she begins to cry. Alex doesn't stop, and he slams the door behind him on his way out.

Her legs give way and she falls to her knees, just like that crumpled up piece of paper on the floor.

She screwed herself out of the purest, most genuine love in her life. And now she's completely and utterly alone.

* * *

 **vi.**

"So, since he's responded to the petition, we're going to have to go to court."

She shuts her eyes – these were the exact words she'd been hoping not to hear. Across the desk her lawyer, Ms. Roberts, maintains her neutral expression. "The good news is that the hearing will take place here in Washington since it's the state where you filed, so you won't have to travel anywhere. We can meet with his lawyer to see if we can reach an agreement beforehand –"

"No," Jo cuts her off firmly. "I do not want any interaction with him if it can be avoided."

Ms. Roberts purses her lips and nods. "Well, okay then. Now, let's discuss your terms."

"I don't want anything," She says. "I don't need spousal support, or alimony, or any of it. I just want us to be divorced. I just want him to leave him alone." She hesitates for a moment, and nervously tugs on her ear. "…When do you think this will happen?"

Her lawyer clasps her hands together. "We'll have a pretrial hearing to discuss each of our terms with the judge. In some instances the whole matter can be settled right there, but that is unusual. After that, we'll receive a court date where the judge will give his final ruling – this usually takes only one day. The court date could be anywhere from three to four months from now –"

"Three to four _months_?" At the thought, her hands go to her stomach without her even realizing. At fourteen weeks, it is already getting hard to hide the pregnancy from people at work – she can see the eyes ghosting over her stomach, not so discreetly examining where her scrub top is pulled taut over her burgeoning bump. She knows people have their suspicions, and she's barely even showing yet. In three to four months, there will be no possible way to hide it. "I don't want him to know I'm pregnant."

Her lawyer gives her a sympathetic smile. "I promise you, he will not be able to hurt you again."

Twenty minutes later Jo leaves the office, her attorney's words of comfort not having alleviated her fears. She's digging in her purse for her keys when a voice from behind startles her.

"Hey."

She involuntarily lets out a yelp, her hand flying over her mouth. "Oh my God! Alex, what are you doing here?"

He pushes off the wall and walks closer to her, his hands shoved in his pockets. They haven't spoken since Arizona's almost a week before, when he'd found out about the pregnancy. Since then, it has been radio silence on his end. "Robbins said you would be here. Can we talk?" Feebly, she nods.

They walk in silence to a nearby bench and sit down at opposite ends, a handspan of space between them. Jo hadn't expected things to be perfect – for him to swoop her into his arms and tell her he wanted to get back together – but she hadn't expected it to be this awkward either. It's almost like they're strangers. "How are you doing?" Alex asks uneasily.

She presses a hand against her stomach and it's an action that doesn't go unnoticed by him. "I'm good. I had an appointment last week – Arizona's going to be my OB."

"How far along are you?"

"Fourteen weeks," She says, and then she smiles wryly. "Do you remember three months ago, when we were both stuck at the hospital all night on a trauma, and we snuck off to the on-call room for a little…stress reliever?"

Alex can't hold back his chuckle. "Only fifteen minutes to spare, no condom, and both of our pagers ringing the whole time? Yeah, I remember. Not exactly what I imagined making a baby would be like." They both laugh.

Smiling, she opens up her bag, pulls out the copy of her ultrasound photo she keeps there, and hands it to him. "Here." As he looks at the grainy image – just like ones they'd seen on so many patients before, but yet different, because this one is theirs – she swears she sees the corners of his lips turn up into a smile.

"Mind if I keep this?"

She nods without hesitation and he pockets it, but then she pauses. "Alex, I…I am so sorry."

He turns to look at her again, and his eyes are sad. "Were you ever going to tell me? About the baby?"

She's a little bit hurt by the question, even though she probably deserves it. "Of course I was going to tell you Alex! I just…I didn't know what to say to you."

"What about your husband?"

She looks away and shuts her eyes tight. "Please don't call him that."

"Jo, listen –"

"No, you listen." She says, whipping her head back around to look at him. "I lived in constant fear of that man every day we were married. I had to run away, and I barely escaped with my life. When I came to Seattle, I never expected to be in a relationship – especially not one as serious as what you and I have." She stops, realizing her mistake – past tense, not present. "Had – what, you and I had…But by the time I realized I was in love with you, I thought it was too late. And when I'd told people before, they hadn't exactly reacted like I was hoping they would." She thinks of Jason. "I didn't want you to be mad at me, or do something stupid like go find the guy, or feel sorry for me…I didn't want any of that, okay? And I _did_ want to marry you. But I couldn't tell you why…not when it would just make you hate me."

Alex gulps and looks down at the ground. "Jo, I could never ever hate you."

A silence settles between them, and she's not sure how it fill it. "Is there any way," She mumbles finally. "That you could give me another chance?"

She looks up at Alex, brown eyes meeting brown eyes, and slowly he shakes his head. "I want to. I want to forgive you. But I'm not gonna lie – I'm hurt, Jo. I'm hurt that after everything we've been through, you didn't think you could trust me with the truth. You didn't think I deserved the truth. And if that freaking petition hadn't come to the loft by accident, you probably _never_ would've told me."

"Alex, I didn't know how…"

"I know." He says. "But that doesn't mean it hurts any less." With a sigh, he stands up. "I am committed to our child – I just don't know if I can commit to you anymore. I'm sorry, Jo."

Then he leaves before he can cry or do something equally as stupid.

* * *

 **vii.**

"Did you hear that Andrew is the dad?"

Alex looks up as Maggie speaks these words across their cafeteria table, biting down on her lip so hard he's surprised she doesn't draw blood. Meredith's eyebrow shoots up immediately. "DeLuca is the what?" She asks.

Maggie blushes. "I heard some residents talking. They're saying he's the dad of…you know." She discreetly nods to something behind them, and the heads of everyone at the table turn. They see Jo, walking into the cafeteria with Edwards now, both arms wrapped around her abdomen in a protective manner as many of the other doctors turn to openly stare. She is eighteen weeks now and had to finally switch to maternity scrubs, confirming what everyone already suspected and branding herself the new source of hospital gossip.

Amelia snickers into her yogurt. "Oh my God Maggie, jealous much?" Hunt discreetly elbows her in the ribs.

"What? That's what people are saying!" She looks to Alex. "Didn't you walk in on them after you and Wilson broke up?"

"Maggie –" Meredith starts to say. She was the only person who Alex had told, and that was only because she'd accidentally walked in on him and Robbins talking about it, so it wasn't like he really had a choice.

"It's fine, Mer." Alex cuts her off, before looking back at Pierce. "I didn't 'walk in on them', it was a misunderstanding and I just assumed. And not that's it any of your goddamn business anyway, but DeLuca is not the father."

"But how do you know –"

"Because I am, alright?"

That shuts Maggie up right away.

"Well," Owen says, breaking the awkward silence and grabbing Amelia by the arm. "We have umm…a surgery. See you guys later." His wife looks at him, confused by this fictional surgery that he's obviously just made up so they have an excuse to leave, but he gets up and leads her away.

Maggie looks down at her lap, visibly embarrassed. "I'm umm…sorry." She mumbles, before getting up and leaving too.

Now it's just him and Meredith. "Well," She says with a shrug. "At least now they know?" Alex only rolls his eyes.

Meanwhile, across the cafeteria, Stephanie is talking Jo's ear off. "They're all staring," She whispers. "Oh my God, the least they could do is be subtle about it!" She makes a face at a pair of interns who are gawking at them, and they both turn red and look away. Jo sighs and the two of them slip into a table in the corner, hoping they can finally have some privacy, to no avail.

Cross approaches them less than a minute after they've sat down. "Dr. Wilson, I have your lab results."

She smiles and accepts them. "Thank you, Dr. Cross." But he doesn't go away – he remains standing there, and Jo sees his eyes flit not so discreetly to her belly. "Is there something else, Dr. Cross?"

"I just…" He stammers. "I think it's really admirable what you're doing. I was raised by a single mother. I mean, I don't know what your relationship with the father is, whoever he may be…And that's not be trying to be nosy, it's totally not any of my business, I just meant…" He's babbling now and looking flustered, in a typical Cross fashion. "If you need anything, anything at all, I'll totally help. I mean…I'm there if you need me, or anything."

"Umm…thanks, Cross?" He grins and leaves contently.

As soon as he's gone, Stephanie snorts. "Is he seriously flirting with you when you're having another man's baby? That's sad."

Jo shrugs. "He's just trying to be nice." Stephanie shakes her head and pops a potato chip into her mouth.

"If he'd talked to us for much longer, people would've probably started saying he's the father." Jo slugs her in the arm, and she laughs.

Jo hears footsteps approaching from behind, and she sighs. "Look, can you just leave us –" But she cuts herself off when she turns around and finds herself face to face with a man in a suit.

The man gives her a token smile and speaks a name that she hasn't heard in a long time. A name that used to belong to her, until she'd ditched that identity. Because whenever she hears that name…she thinks about the way _he_ used to say it.

"It's Dr. Wilson," She snaps, trying to hide how much what he's said has shaken her. "Can I help you?"

The man extends a paper to her. "You've been served." He says, before turning and walking away.

Jo looks over at Stephanie, who is staring at her wide-eyed. And when she turns her head, she sees dozens of other pairs of eyes all pointed at her too.

She's never been so embarrassed.

* * *

 **viii.**

She doesn't sleep at all the night before the hearing.

She tosses and turns all night, staring at the candy pink walls of Sofia's bedroom. (Alex had offered to let her stay at the loft after he'd found out she was pregnant, saying he could stay at Meredith's for a while, but she'd refused – she knew she'd never be able to get any sleep when the memories associated with the place were crushing her at every turn.) Finally, around four am, she gives up and just gets out of bed. She's slept for maybe an hour, if that.

She covers up the bags under her eyes with makeup and gives what she's going to wear a great deal of thought. She tries on at least ten different tops, trying to find one which can conceal her growing baby bump. The best she can find is a flowy blouse, which helps a little bit but is still tighter than it used to be, and she hopes no one will be able to tell she's pregnant if she holds her purse over her stomach.

Finally, she meets her lawyer at the courthouse, full of anxiety. They're standing together, waiting for the judge to arrive, when she hears the doors open again.

His lawyer walks in first, an older, overweight man in a tacky suit. Then, _he_ steps through the door. He looks the same as she remembers him, and her heart is in her throat. His eyes scan the room, before finally landing on her. She clutches her purse tighter over her middle. He smiles a sick, twisted smile. "Nice to see you again… _Jo_." The sound of his voice sends chills down her spine.

Luckily the judge appears then and escorts them all back to his chambers. Jo sits at one end of the table, her lawyer next to her, him and his lawyer at the other. As she lowers herself into her seat, her top pulls tight around her stomach, and she sees him smile to himself. She averts her eyes - she knows he's seen.

"So I understand we're here to discuss your terms of divorce," The judge says. He's an elderly man with a ring of white hair.

"Your Honor," His lawyer says. "My client does not agree that this marriage is irretrievably broken. He would like to work things out."

"Oh please," Jo's lawyer says. "This marriage is over. My client has been living on her own for years, and has had no contact with the respondent since she left him. There is absolutely no hope for reconciliation. We are not asking for any spousal support, or any of his property – we just simply want this divorce to be finalized, so my client can move on with her life."

His lawyer turns back to the judge. "Your Honor, my client would like to request alimony. $10,000 a month."

"Your Honor, that is ridiculous –"

"$10,000 a month is not much to ask for," His lawyer says. "Considering how my client was abused by his wife throughout his marriage."

At this, Jo cannot help but scoff. "How _he_ was abused?"

"My client has the hospital records to prove it. The night his wife left him, he was checked into the hospital after sustaining multiple injuries. It was later determined that he'd been beaten with a fire poker, causing a fractured skull and a concussion."

"I have to say, Mr. Stewart," The judge says. "You're sending mixed signals here. First your client wants to make his marriage work, then he wants spousal support and alleges domestic violence? Please, pick a story and stick with it."

Jo watches as he leans over towards his lawyer, and whispers in his ear. Something about the way he's smiling makes her stomach flip. "Your Honor," Mr. Stewart says. "My client has another condition."

* * *

 **ix.**

He still hasn't gotten used to sleeping alone.

He used to like having his own space, not being the kind of guy who enjoyed it when women stayed afterwards to cuddle. But now the loft seems too quiet, too empty. Every night, when Alex returns home to it, he almost forgets that she won't be there waiting for him.

Tonight, he's exhausted after a long shift as he dumps the remnants of his Chinese takeout dinner down the garbage disposal. He's pondering whether he should get a shower or just go straight to bed when he's startled by a frantic banging on the door. "Coming!" He calls out, wondering who it could possibly be as he goes to answer the door. When he opens it, he freezes. "Jo?"

She's standing there, physically shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I…I'm sorry," She hiccups. "I…I didn't know where else to go…" She's gasping for breath and crying uncontrollably, and he's never seen her this upset before.

Instinctively he steps forward and wraps an arm around her shoulders, leading her inside. "Come on," He whispers, and he helps her sit down at the edge of the bed, before kneeling in front of her. "Breathe Jo, breathe…you're having a panic attack, you need to calm down…" He rubs her back while she takes in several deep breaths, her sobbing beginning to cease as she can finally take in air again. Once he's confident she's okay, he asks what happened.

She shakes her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. "He…he wants custody."

Alex looks at her, confused. "Who?"

"My ex!" She says. "He's asking for fifty-fifty custody of the baby. Since he's still legally married to me, the law of presumptive paternity applies and he's assumed to be the father. The judge says he would have to take it into account…" She sniffs. "Alex, he's trying to take our baby away! He can't do that, can he?"

She's crying again, and he does the only thing he can think of – he wraps his arms around her, and pulls her into him. In that moment, his instinct to protect her hits him full force. "He's not gonna take our baby away, Jo. I promise you, I won't let him."

She looks up at him, lower lip quivering, her face mere inches away from his. "But…the judge said…"

"Screw him," He tells her, wiping away one of her tears with his thumb. "We'll get a paternity test, okay? He's never going to get anywhere near our child, Jo. I won't let that happen." After a moment, she nods slowly. "You can stay here tonight, okay? It's late, and you shouldn't be driving like this."

She doesn't protest as he helps her into bed, pulling the blankets around her and tucking her in like she is a scared child. He moves to get up, intending to spend the night on the couch, when suddenly she grabs his arm. "Alex…" She mumbles. "Can you stay with me? Please?"

He opens his mouth, then shuts it. She's looking at him, waiting for a response, her eyes still wet and shiny. Wordlessly, he climbs in next to her, and she snuggles against him, his arms making their way around her waist. After a few minutes, he hears her breathing steady, falling into the rhythmic pattern of sleep.

That night, he sleeps better than he has in months.

 **to be continued...**


	2. part ii

**A/N** : I am really truly touched by how many people reviewed the first chapter! I had people tweeting me about it, sending me Tumblr messages...I am honestly so thankful for all the nice things you've all had to say. I've never gotten this kind of response on anything I've written before. But there were a couple questions people had that I'd like to clear up - I replied to all the questions I could, but obviously I can't send a PM to people without accounts or who have messaging turned off. So just to answer some of your questions:

* I didn't want to imply that Alex kicked Jo out of the loft - but for the sake of the story she had to be living elsewhere so that he'd accidentally find the response to the petition. Also, I really didn't want to have Alex living with Meredith - although I'm pretty sure that's what will happen on the show because he's basically Meredith's bitch nowadays but ANYWAYS now's not the time to complain about how the writers write Merlex.

* Jo's pre-trial hearing was not three to four months from when she originally saw the lawyer - the trial will take three to four months to happen, the pre-trial hearing is a totally different thing. Sorry if that was unclear.

* Also obviously Jo's lawyer would want to bring up the abuse in court but from my understanding of the Washington state divorce process, it's a no-fault divorce state which means the only reason you can cite for divorce is the "irretrievable breakdown of the marriage". Proving domestic abuse would have to be a separate endeavor. Also I'd imagine Jo wouldn't have a lot of evidence to prove that she was abused, because she said on the show everyone loved her husband. And since her ex was lying and calling her abusive the judge probably wouldn't have known who to believe since it was only the pre-trial hearing.

Sorry if that was confusing - it all made sense in my head, but you know, I wrote the story. And I wrote it over the period of like, two days.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this second installment and I would love if you left me reviews again! They make me so happy, you really have no idea how much they mean to me.

 **Disclaimer** : I still don't own _Grey's Anatomy_.

* * *

 _By the cracks of his skin I climbed to the top_  
 _I climbed the tree to see the world_  
 _When the gusts came around to blow me down_  
 _Held on as tightly as you held onto me_  
 _Held on as tightly as you held onto me..._

* * *

 **x.**

The next morning, Jo wakes up in a daze. As she slowly starts to sit up, alone in bed, she thinks for a moment that she imagined it all – last night, falling asleep with Alex next to her, his arms around her.

But it is quickly confirmed to have been very much real when she sees him standing in the loft's kitchen, a pan on the stove as he flips a piece of bread with a spatula. "Good morning," He says when he sees that's she's up, sending a handsome half-smile her way. "I'm making breakfast. French toast okay?"

"Umm…yeah sure." She says, getting up and making her way over to the table. Last night's clothes are wrinkled on her now, and as she sits down she realizes she's not entirely sure where they stand. Alex told her that it was over between them – it had to be just about the baby, and nothing more. And so far they'd both been good about staying true to that. But last night…

Well, last night had definitely not been platonic.

He places a plate of French toast in front of her before sitting across the table with a coffee for himself, and she picks up her fork but then hesitates. "Come on, you have to eat something, Jo." Alex tells her. "If you don't eat, the baby doesn't eat." When he sees her reluctance, he adds: "I called Robbins. She says she can do an amnio at ten, so we can do the DNA test. Now eat up." She relents and places a forkful in her mouth. It's a little burnt around the edges, but not bad.

Once she's eaten enough to appease him, they get in the car and drive to the hospital in silence. When they arrive they head up to OB, and his hand instinctively finds its way to the small of her back. The nurse leads them back to an exam room and tells Jo to lay down, but being a doctor she knows how it works. Alex hangs back, watching but staying out of the way.

Arizona comes in a few minutes later, smiling perkily. "Good morning," She says. Jo knows Alex must have told her what's going on, but she doesn't show any signs of it. "Ready to get this show on the road?"

Jo's seen amniocenteses performed many times, but the needle seems so much bigger when it's her uterus it's getting stuck into. Alex offers her his hand to squeeze, and she takes it gratefully. The procedure takes less than ten minutes – Arizona guides the needle in with the help of an ultrasound, takes some amniotic fluid with a syringe, and then removes it. As she looks at the ultrasound screen, she randomly smiles. "How about some good news – do you want to know the gender?"

Jo looks at Alex, and he shrugs, indicating it's up to her. Arizona's right – she could really use some good news right now. "Sure."

The fetal surgeon beams at them as she delivers the news. "It's a boy."

Her eyes widen. "A boy?" She repeats, amazed, and Robbins nods in confirmation. A smile makes its way to Jo's face for the first time in a long time. She can't believe it. _A boy!_

Arizona leaves after reminding her that she needs to stay in observation for an hour to make sure there are no side effects, but honestly she's not even paying attention. She turns to Alex, who is unable to contain his grin – he squeezes her hand, which she had forgotten he was still holding. They don't need to say anything, the joy written all over both their faces. For a moment, she actually thinks that he might kiss her, but he doesn't.

She randomly thinks about a few years back, when she was still stuck in her marriage. Once her period had been late, and she'd suspected she was pregnant. She remembers the feeling of terror in her gut as she squatted over a plastic stick in some gas station bathroom, commanding herself not to be pregnant, and nearly crying from relief when she got the negative result. Back then, the thought of having a child terrified her – how could she bring an innocent baby into a home where their father would hit their mother? Where their father might hit them? How could she risk her child having to listen to the sounds of her weeping every night?

How could she risk having a son that might turn out just like his father?

But this feeling is completely different. She knows that regardless of what happens between her and Alex – whether they get back together today, or tomorrow, or next year, or never – her baby will have an amazing father, who will teach him how to be a good person. She will never have to protect her child from smacks or punches, or lie and tell them that she is fine and cover up her bruises. Because Alex is good, and loving, and all the things a father should be.

And she knows that she will be beyond blessed if their son turns out just like him.

* * *

 **xi.**

It takes another two months for the divorce case to finally go to trial. Luckily, after the paternity test results came back, any talks about fifty-fifty custody immediately went out the window, and that alone is a huge weight off her shoulders.

Outside, it's raining hard even by Seattle standards and the drops are audible as they pang against the window panes. As she sits at her side of the courtroom Jo can feel her ex's eyes on her, as he turns to look at her every few minutes or so. In her womb the baby kicks, almost like he's comforting her, and she absentmindedly rubs the spot. She keeps her eyes trained firmly ahead, focused on Alex as her lawyer questions him. They're not back together, but they're getting along just fine, and he'd been more than willing to testify in her defense.

"So Dr. Karev," Her lawyer is saying. "How long were you and Dr. Wilson romantically involved?"

"A little over four years. We…" He trails off. " _I_ wanted to get married." She can't help but wince when he changes the plural to the singular. He wasn't the only one who wanted that, even though she hadn't been able to admit it.

"And how much contact did she have with her estranged husband during this time?"

"None."

"Finally Dr. Karev, in your opinion, has Dr. Wilson moved on from her husband?"

He does not hesitate as he answers. "Without a doubt, yes she has."

"Thank you." Her lawyer says, before heading back to her seat.

Now, his lawyer stands up. "Dr. Karev," He says. "During your relationship, did Dr. Wilson exhibit any violent tendencies?"

Her lawyer slaps the table immediately. "Objection, Your Honor!"

"I'll rephrase – Dr. Karev, is it true that a former boyfriend of Dr. Wilson's ended up in the hospital due to a severe beating?"

He looks taken aback by the question. "Yes, but –"

"Dr. Karev, was Dr. Wilson ever abusive towards you in any way?"

"No!" He roars, and it's clear he's angry now. "She's the mother of my child, and she would never do anything like that! She's the one who was abused!"

"That's enough, Mr. Stewart." The judge orders. "I've made my decision." The lawyer goes back to his place and Alex gets up, clearly ruffled as he returns to his seat. "Mr. Stewart," The judge says. "I'm frankly appalled by your tactics. When your client was unable to stop this divorce, you resorted to trying to obtain custody of a child your client has not fathered and creating fabricated claims of domestic violence. I have no choice but to agree to Dr. Wilson's conditions – no spousal support for either party, and no division of property. And I am granting Dr. Wilson her request for a temporary order of protection. Case dismissed." He bangs his gavel, and Jo exhales. Alex steps towards her and she collapses against him, burying her face into his chest.

The other lawyer storms off in a huff, and her moment of relief ends abruptly when she sees _him_ approaching her. "We'll be filing a motion for reconsideration immediately," He says, smiling twistedly. "And we're gonna drag this on and on, even until after you have that baby. You think I'm gonna let you go that easily?"

She shrinks back, an arm wrapped protectively over her bump, and Alex steps in front of her. "You come near her or my son again and it'll be the last thing you ever do, you understand?"

He only grins at her. "I'll see you soon." He says, before turning and following his lawyer out.

Her knees buckle but Alex grabs her arm to steady her. "Are you okay?"

She looks at him and shakes her head. "He's never gonna leave me alone, is he?"

"Look, he can try all he wants but it's going to get him nowhere, Jo. It's clear that everything he's saying is BS, the judge will rule in your favor every time. He's never going to get what he wants." He squeezes her shoulder. "Come on, I'll take you home."

She hesitates for a moment. "Actually…can we go to the hospital?" He gives her a concerned look, and she quickly clarifies. "Nothing's wrong with me! I just…want to check on my patients. I'm a fifth year, I need to keep up with my case load. Please?"

Alex sighs, but she looks at him, biting her lip and looking hopeful. He relents. "Okay, fine. Let's go."

* * *

 **xii.**

An hour later, Jo returns after checking on all her patients, to where Alex is waiting for her in the ER. It's a fairly quiet night, with only a few patients with mild injuries. Kepner is filling out charts, Hunt is discharging a patient, and Grey is dealing with what appears to be a routine appendicitis. Alex stands up when he sees her coming and closes the distance between them. "Hey," She says. "Ready to go?"

"Actually," Alex says. "Can we talk for a second?" Jo looks at him, unsure of what he wants to discuss, and he takes a deep breath. "Jo, I was angry when I found out the truth…about your ex…"

"Alex, I –"

"Let me finish, okay?" He says, and she closes her mouth. "I was upset with you but…I get it now. Why you didn't want to tell me. He's put you through Hell, and I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about. I'm really sorry and…I want to know, if maybe we could try again. If you could give me another chance."

His words completely stun her and she just stares at him for a second, not sure of what to say. "Alex…"

He grabs her hand. "I want to be with you, Jo. Please, tell me you want to be with me too."

Before she can say anything they're interrupted when the ER doors suddenly burst open, and Hunt comes in wheeling a gurney. They hadn't even noticed him leave. "White male, early thirties, severe trauma to the head, chest and abdomen. Eyewitness says he was driving too fast when his car skid on the wet road and flipped. Let's go." Kepner rushes to his side immediately, fumbling for a pulse, but as they push the gurney towards the elevator, Jo's heart momentarily stops beating.

"Oh my God," She gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. Alex pulls her into his side when he sees what she sees and she buries her face into his shoulder, feeling like she can't breathe.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asks, leaving her patient to approach them, and Alex looks to her, not sure of what to say.

"It's…it's him." That's all it takes for it to click in Meredith's head.

It's Jo's husband.

Hunt and Kepner have reached the elevator now. "Grey! We need you!" The former yells, but she doesn't move.

"Wilson," She asks. "Are you his medical proxy?"

"I…" She stammers, barely able to string two words together. This is all too much too fast. "I…I think so. He never had any family…His parents are dead."

Meredith steps forward, and places a hand on her shoulder. In the elevator, Hunt and Kepner are getting impatient. "Wilson, we'll do what we can but…if it gets to that point, we don't have to take extreme measures. It's your call."

Slowly, Jo shakes her head. "No…do everything you can. He's taken everything from me, but I not will not let him take this. I will not allow myself stoop to his level." Meredith nods in agreement and then sprints to the elevator, the doors closing behind her as Owen and April berate her for her slowness, completely oblivious to the identity of their patient.

Her legs are shaking as she watches them disappear from view, and it's hard to breathe. Alex says her name, but she doesn't respond.

He reaches his arms out, just in time to catch her before she hits the floor.

* * *

 **xiii.**

When she opens her eyes again, she has no idea how long she's been unconscious for. She glances around frantically, and sees that her arm has been pierced with an IV. Her head is throbbing as she tries to sit up. "Alex…" She mumbles drowsily.

He's up in a second, planting himself on the edge of her bed and brushing back her hair. "Goddamnit, Jo. You scared the Hell out of me."

Her eyes widen. "The baby…?"

"The baby's fine," He assures her, and she exhales in relief. "You fainted, but you're going to be alright. You were just in shock."

She nods and leans her head back, taking a deep breath. The baby kicks against her palm. "Alex, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's not like you did it on purpose –"

"Not about this," She corrects. "I meant, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth in the first place. You deserved that much." When she opens her eyes, they're filled with tears. "And I love you. I love you so much. And I just want to be with you."

He smiles. "I love you too." And then he leans forward and kisses her.

She kisses him once, twice, three times, greedily keeping his lips against hers. It's been far too long since he last kissed her, but once he does none of that seems to matter anymore. She breathes him in, and it just feels right. She doesn't want it to end, but they're interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

When they pull apart they find Meredith in the doorway, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other, clearly a little caught off guard by what's she's just witnessed. "Sorry to interrupt…"

Jo bolts upright immediately. "What's going on?"

Meredith bites her lip. "I got his internal bleeding under control, but there was severe swelling in the brain. Since surgery, he's shown minimal brain activity. He's…he's currently on life support."

She covers her face with her hands, and takes a moment to process. Alex and Meredith are both waiting for her to say something, but she just needs a minute to herself. Just a few hours ago she'd been fighting with her ex in court, and now he's on the brink of death. It's so jarring, how life can change so drastically in the blink of an eye.

Finally, she looks up. "I need to see him. _Now._ "

* * *

 **xiv.**

After some initial protest, Alex and Meredith give in – they know better than to tell her she can't do something. She's transferred to a wheelchair (at Alex's insistence, even though she doesn't think it's necessary) and he wheels her to the ICU, and then to _his_ room.

He's lying back on the bed, his face bruised and pale, tubes and wires coming out of him from all over. It's so ironic – how the man who had once had so much power over her is now the one who is powerless.

"I know this is hard," Meredith says, cutting into her thoughts. "But neuro has been monitoring him, and because of his lack of electrical activity in the brain and absence of pupillary response, he's been declared brain dead. The machines are keeping him alive right now, but you can decide to take him off life support if that's what you want."

Jo stares at him for a moment – he's devoid of color, and by looking at him you can't tell that he's the person who she once feared. Like this, he looks so weak. Like a little broken bird. Her expression hardens, and she finds herself speaking even though she knows he can't hear her. "For years, I let my fear of you dictate my life. Every move I made I wondered if you would find me. If you would come for me. If you would kill me. But I'm done letting you control me. You _ruined_ my life, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. It's over." Now, she turns to Meredith, her vision blurred by angry tears. "Do it. Take him off."

The other woman nods, and Jo sits there in silence as she watches Meredith's hands glide across the machines. One by one, their beeps stop, and the wires are pulled from him. Without them, he looks even smaller than he already did. Meredith leaves, to give them time alone, and she squeezes Alex's shoulder on the way out.

It seems so much quieter without the mechanical noises, and she suddenly understands how people can say silence is loud. "Am I a terrible person?" She asks Alex. "For being relieved that he's gone?"

He shakes his head and takes her hand in his. "You don't have to feel sympathy for someone who abused you. But it's also okay if you feel sad on some level – you did love him once." She knows he's probably thinking about Jimmy, and she says nothing.

Truthfully, the emotions running through her head are so mixed. On one hand, she can't help but feel relieved – for years she'd been terrified that he'd find her someday, and now she doesn't have to worry about that anymore. He's gone, and he will never hurt her ever again. He will never get anywhere near her son.

But she also feels a little sad as she watches the life drain from him. He hadn't always been a monster. When they'd first met, he'd seemed so perfect. He'd had such a nice smile, and had always made her laugh. There had been a time when she was oh so in love with him, when she thought they were going to spend their lives together. A part of her can't help but mourn for the person he used to be.

A few hours later she leaves the hospital, Alex's arm wrapped around her. "Do you want me to take you back to Arizona's?" He asks.

She hesitates. "I don't want to do this anymore, Alex."

He seems confused. "Okay, is that a yes?"

"That's not what I meant," She clarifies, and she looks up to meet his eyes. "I don't want to be apart anymore. Life is too short and too fragile for us to go around pretending we don't love each other. I want to move back into the loft."

"Well," He says, a smile making its way to his face. "I don't know if that's a good idea." For a moment her heart sinks, until he continues. "We'll buy a new place. A kid deserves a real house, with a big yard to play in and neighbors who aren't drug dealers, right?"

And slowly, she smiles too.

* * *

 **xv.**

Three months later, on a warm morning at 6:02 am a week before her due date, she gives birth to a healthy boy.

As Jo runs a finger down her son's smooth cheek, his tiny body pressed against her chest, her heart fills with love. She hadn't known she could possibly love someone so much – but the minute he was born, screaming and crying, he'd become the center of her universe. This little boy was everything to her, and she would do anything for him. She'd always protect him, and keep him safe. She'd die for him, if she had to.

Next to her, Alex is staring at their son and he presses a series of kisses along her knuckles. He would probably try to deny it later, but when the baby was born, he'd cried too. She knows he feels the exact same way about their boy as she does. "What about…Ethan?"

She shakes her head. They've been trying to find a name for the past hour with no luck. "I like it but…no, it's not right."

"Logan?"

"No."

"Connor?"

She sighs. They're all nice but…nice isn't good enough. This little boy on her chest is so perfect, and he deserves a name just as perfect as he is. "I want his name to mean something," She says. "He's special, and his name should be too."

He thinks for a moment, and then he smiles. "What about William?" He asks. "After your last name?"

Jo looks at him. "You know that name doesn't mean anything to me…" The name 'Wilson' had been a surname she'd randomly chosen, just something she'd picked in her haste to forge a new identity. Her whole life - both as Jo Wilson and as what she'd been called before - her name hadn't meant anything to her. It had been something picked for no particular reason, and that was one of the biggest factors why she wanted her son to have a special name.

"I know," Alex explains. "But it'll be a constant reminder to him about what a strong, amazing mother he has. And how she always fought for him, even before he was born."

She runs a finger over her baby's layer of downy brown hair, and a grin appears on her face. "Little baby Liam…" She mumbles. It just sounds right – she has a feeling the nickname will stick. "It's perfect. But then his middle name has to be after you – because his dad fought for him too."

He smiles. "Sounds good to me."

They both watch their baby for a few moments, Liam starting to wake up and open his eyes – she already thinks he looks just like his father, and that's perfectly fine with her. Speaking of his father… "Oh by the way," Jo says. "I bought him something. It's in a bag in my purse, can you get it please?"

Alex sighs, but gets up anyway. "How much stuff can such a tiny person have? Kepner and Robbins already gave you an entire Babies 'R' Us at your shower."

"Oh, just shut up and open it!"

He digs into her purse and retrieves the little plastic bag. She watches with a smirk as he pulls out the onesie tucked inside there, and as he unfolds it a look of surprise crosses his face. He holds it up for her. "Am I reading this right?"

Her grin widens. She'd ordered it special online, her custom message scrawled on the front in multi-colored block letters: _Daddy, will you marry Mommy?_ "So?" She says. "Will you?"

He smiles, and crosses the room in three strides to reach her. He tilts her chin upward so he can kiss her on the lips. "I thought you'd never ask."

 **fin.**


End file.
